Tying My Father's Shoes....

It's been a while since I have written which is indicative of how fast my life was this past year. And now because of a careful decision, things are a little slower, not much, but somewhat and my mind can rest a little from just handling the next demand on my list to a reconnection with my heart and the things that matter most.... my family, the people who are precious to me, the condition of my soul and my Lord.

So today's reflection goes back to a moment yesterday. A brief 15 second precious encounter with my dad.

Yesterday, I tied my father's shoes.

We were in a Hispanic grocery market purchasing a pork leg we are going to roast tomorrow for his 80th birthday. I love all things Latin and Hispanic and Cuban. And I feel closest to my dad when we talk about things Cuban and his and my heritage.
When we buy Latin food and I get to practice my broken Spanish.
When I look at my dark pigmented skin which I disliked as a child in Chicago for the teasing it brought me, but love it now for it reflects me and that I am my father's daughter. And he still calls me "carneprieta" which affectionately means, "dark meat". I know it doesn't translate well, but it's been my nickname since I was a little girl.

But back to yesterday :-)

A few years ago my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's. He and my mom have lived with us for about 7 years now and as his disease progresses slowly, daily, I can see the Hand of God in that decision to all live under the same roof. Within the past year or so, I have seen my dad age more. And I have been seized with the realization that time is precious and is to be held in moments to always to remember. I worry more about my dad now. When he walks the stairs and when he shuffles his feet. But after getting past the physical slowness, anyone can discover a man who loves people. Who loves to talk to anyone. Who loves to tell stories and still to this day has the most inquisitive mind. Even after fully retiring from medicine a few years ago, he still loves to read his JAMA journals and will always be a resource to anyone who asks.

But again, back to yesterday :-)

We headed over to the Hispanic market to pick up the traditional Cuban pork leg. You can tell even after all these years in this country which he loves, he feels most alive around all things Latin. As we were checking out, he was bending down to tie his shoes and was losing his balance. So I bent down and tied his shoe. He then asked me with a laugh to tie the other one. And I thought how grateful I am to have lived this life as his daughter. Lived this life knowing I am loved. Lived this life provided for by this man. And now that I am grown and fully living the life of a mom, I get a glimpse of the sacrifice and commitment and heart it requires. And my dad has and to this day gives it to me.

I am in a new season of life now with my dad, as are all of my brothers and sisters. And we welcome it. We consider it a privilege to care and love and celebrate our father. We hold these moments near to us for we don't know what tomorrow holds. But we have these little moments. This time with my dad is teaching me to slow my world. Slow my conversations. Slow my heart to seize the moments. All the moments. I tend to run too fast in my mind and in all the things I want to do. I feel the demands of everything around me and my people pleasing tendency causes me to carry more than my share. This time with my dad is teaching me to strip off the things that really don't matter and to remember the weight of the world does not rest solely on my shoulders. That this life is more than just about me. But I get to be a player in it. And I am thankful.

So today, I will take more pictures, cook more recipes, talk to more people, serve with greater intensity, read more books and love a whole lot deeper. And I can thank my dad for bringing me to this place again.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Love always, your Carneprieta :-)